Dear Midwest Christian Outreach (Not really letter though!)

I’ve been subscribing to Midwest Christian Outreach (MCO) newsletters for 23 years. Time flies fast. What is Midwest Christian Outreach? It’s an organization whose mission is to educate and equip missionaries and evangelical Christianity faith defenders who deal with cults outside of Christianity, as well as cult sects inside Christianity. That’s what they mostly focus on—groups like Latter-day Saints, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Bill Gothard and IBLP. I rarely hear MCO make efforts toward non-Christian religions like Islam, Buddhism, or other religions considered cults in the eyes of evangelical Christianity. LDS, JWs, and Gothardism are clearly MCO’s main platforms.

I believe I was 17 or 18 when I began suspecting that something was wrong with Bill Gothard’s teachings themselves. I was a devout Christian and active in various ministries at my home church, First Baptist Church of Central Florida. I remember receiving a copy of the book A Matter of Basic Principle from Don Veinot himself before I began attending Gardner-Webb University. We never met in person, but we corresponded a few times by email. I learned about MCO through my own internet searches on Bill Gothard’s doctrine and related issues. That’s how I began subscribing.

My last contact with MCO was around 2008 or 2009. Since then, I haven’t read any newsletters or watched podcasts—podcasts weren’t really popular in the late 2000s anyway. In December 2025, while standing outside waiting for my son’s school bus to arrive, I randomly scrolled through my old email, libertyplanet85@gmail.com (still active but not frequently checked). Of course, I still saw many MCO newsletters. I decided to read the December 22, 2025 newsletter featuring a woman who was raised in an IBLP family and is now doing ministry to LDS missionaries. It was a short blog. That article felt very relevant to me as a 40-year-old apatheist who has been exposed to many religions and cultures from childhood through my early adulthood in my 20s and 30s. IBLP and LDS were the part of my life story.

Before diving into my thought!s on the woman who does ministry to LDS missionaries, I want to share a brief background. I was part of the Southern Baptist community for 13 years. I joined the church in 1994 and slowly left the SBC community in 2007 when I moved to Tucson. After moving to Tucson, I attended First Southern Baptist Church on East Speedway Blvd, not far from University of Arizona, and contacted the Catalina Baptist Association simply to connect with a familiar SBC community, especially churches with Deaf ministry. That was it—nothing formal, nothing beyond that. After leaving the Catalina Baptist Association office, I never heard back, and that chapter felt unexpectedly closed, which, in hindsight, was probably a good thing.

During my entire childhood, before and during my involvement with the SBC, I was exposed to many religious cultures. I was exposed to Nation of Islam culture through my mom’s first marriage, African American churches through my late grandfather, who was a pastor of a church he founded, and later Mount Sinai MBC through my mom’s external ministry outside our home church. During my time at FSDB, I attended Lutheran worship services and a wrestling coach’s Bible study—the coach himself was Pentecostal. As a child, I also attended Seventh-day Adventist church before we found a church with Deaf ministry at First Baptist Church of Pine Hills (later known as FBCCF/Church at the Cross).

I didn’t just visit these churches—I was actively involved in them. I participated in various workshops and seminars, from Bill Gothard’s Basic Seminars to Promise Keepers, as well as teenage camps run by independent fundamentalist Baptist churches such as BIMI/Harvest Deaf Ministries and Bill Rice Ranch. Because of this, religion was heavily established throughout my childhood background.

Not only was religion heavily established in my childhood, but I believe my psychology was wired differently from many of my childhood counterparts who are still affirming the same beliefs they were raised with.

From 2005 to 2007 were my inner exploratory years. I began questioning my motivation and pride in my “Christian identity” while still affirming Christian beliefs. This was especially shaped by how I experienced being treated differently as a college dropout and failed pastoral apprentice. It was also the era when my freethinking realm began. I often received a lot of aggressive criticism from my own folks after I admitted to them that the Muslim faith itself made sense in its moral teachings and logic, even though I psychologically disagreed with the Islamic version of Jesus. They responded by leaving anti-Muslim books and using other aggressive tactics.

Not only Islam and religious exploration, I also began reading more self-help books, listening to motivational speeches, and learning about personal finance improvement. So in 2007, after moving to Tucson, I no longer had the fear of aggressive criticism. Nobody knew me in Tucson, so I freely checked out a mosque, a Buddhist temple, a few groups on the university campus, and later the LDS Church. Nobody harassed me for being interested in new things. Most importantly, I no longer felt the fear that God himself would punish me for exploring.

In June 2008, I joined the LDS Church for social support reasons rather than beliefs alone, even though my beliefs were still psychologically tied to evangelical Christianity at the time and only slowly detached over the years. Don’t get me wrong—I met many wonderful people and witnessed many life-changing experiences through my LDS involvement. I never imagined what my life would look like right now if I had never joined the LDS Church back in 2008.

Even though I knew the LDS faith itself wasn’t stable, I also began suspecting that something was wrong with Christian faith as well. Through debates and deep discussions between LDS and evangelical Christianity, I came to the conclusion that LDS members are largely innocent of their own beliefs for the same reasons evangelical Christians are innocent of theirs. Later, a longtime friend shared a surprising story about his conversion to Nazrene Yisraelites. Although I never converted to Nazrene Yisraelites myself, those teachings unlocked a new level of theological understanding for me about Christianity. It felt like I had finally found a path out of the Christian matrix. That was the beginning of my journey toward atheism and apatheism.

Fast forward to now, as a 40-year-old apatheist, my attitude and belief motto is, “Whatever happens, so be it. Just trust and let God (or whatever it is) handle the result.” Many religions have beliefs about the afterlife. But for me, what will happen to me after I die? I have no idea. Am I scared? Honestly, yes. But letting go of what I can’t control actually calms my nervous system. I can’t control my afterlife, so there’s no reason for me to stress myself out chasing salvation just to secure it. And if a real God exists, why would God care which doctrine or belief system I adopt? If I were God, I’d rather see my people treat each other with respect instead of obsessing over me through doctrine or beliefs they’ve created.

Enough with my long background. The point of my story is that conversion or transformation is difficult to happen without a calm nervous system established. Once you let go of what you can’t control—or even can’t understand—you begin to experience a more relaxed nervous system. While I somewhat applaud the woman’s effort to reach out to Mormon missionaries, especially as an IBLP survivor herself, I don’t think her effort is driven by a calm nervous system.

Her work details weren’t mentioned in the MCO newsletter, but if she were to have lunch with me and asked how to win Mormon souls to Christ, I would first ask her what made her leave IBLP in the first place. By letting go of IBLP—whether quickly or slowly—your nervous system begins to calm. From what I’ve seen, not only in religion but also in employment, career transitions, and other areas of life, it’s almost impossible to feel calm as long as you adamantly refuse to let go of what you don’t fully understand. Ironically, once calm sets in, you’re more likely to begin seeing what was wrong with the system you were just leaving.

Additionally, in the newsletter they mentioned that the LDS missionary had started reading the Gospel of John and the Book of Romans for the first time. I understand why she said this, but nobody should be flattered. It wasn’t really the first time—unless she meant it differently—because just like Christians, LDS members do know the New Testament. LDS missionaries are trained to be familiar with the evangelical Christian versions of both the Old and New Testament, so what she explained may not have been new to them.

Yes, trust me—LDS missionaries understand Christian beliefs in much the same way Christians understand LDS doctrine. So here’s my unpopular advice: never assume Mormons are ignorant of the New Testament or the Christian version of salvation doctrine when you try to witness to them. The same goes for Orthodox Jews, Muslims, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and many other sects.

My friend, you didn’t leave IBLP because someone defeated you theologically—you left because something inside you finally had room to breathe. That same principle applies everywhere.

Happy New Year!