Here I come, 40-ish!

"Here I come, 40-ish!"

Today’s my 40th birthday. Anything special? Not really. I went about my day as usual, but it’s better than my 21st birthday. What did I do on my 21st? I busted my butt washing dishes in the kitchen at Rose & Crown (Disney World Epcot) all night until 2 a.m.!

Today was a typical Saturday for both my son and me. Our birthdays are four days apart. I woke up around 6 a.m., but he was still sleeping, so I went back to sleep until we both woke up around 11 a.m. I didn’t get many birthday greetings, just from my inner circle, immediate family, Malik’s mom, and, of course, the usual birthday spam emails from companies.

With $55 from my mom, Malik and I went to Walmart for some groceries. Then we stopped by my storage to look for something before going out for a random drive. When we got back home, I cooked yellow rice and soup. Malik watched a movie like usual. After the movie, we went out again to Fry’s for some food and diapers. The Southside traffic became aggressive, so I skipped the second random drive.

On our way home, I saw a fire on the sidewalk! Many drivers passed by, but none of them stopped to check, so I texted 911. A few neighbors came out, and all of them were wearing black shirts. It seems they took care of the fire before the Tucson Fire Department arrived. We left the scene. I got a call from the fire captain, but I informed him that I’m Deaf. He apologized and told me they found it. I sent him a few pictures. Here we are back home, and we finished our meal together—fried chicken and yellow rice. Malik is watching another movie while I check updates on Instagram and Messenger. That’s a typical Saturday for us!

So how do I feel about being in my 40s? I’m just ready to make the best of this 40-ish journey, probably better than the journey I had in my 20s and 30s. Today is my first day in the third decade of adulthood. I remember my mom at 40, but it was different for her because she already had many dependents, a permanent house, and her own family at that age. In my late 30s and early 40s, it’s just me and Malik. I don’t have a house yet, and despite living in Tucson for almost 18 years, I don’t feel established here. So, my mom’s 40-ish experience was very different from mine. I think my mom’s life circumstances as a caregiver for multiple dependents and being active in the community put a lot of pressure on her as a grown-up adult, both for good and bad. On the other hand, my responsibility is limited to just myself and Malik, so I don’t feel the same kind of pressure my mom did. So, I guess I’m lazier than my mom was in her 40s, lol?

My goals have always evolved throughout my life, but at 40, I want to maximize my efforts as much as I can while my body and brain are still as young as they were in my 20s. Seriously, even at 40, I still feel like I’m in my 20s—maybe because I don’t consume drugs or alcohol regularly. Anyway, I feel fortunate to have a healthy body and brain at 40 because I might not have that advantage in my 50s and beyond. So basically, this is my last chance to make the most of it while my body is still young.

So, what grade should I give my 30s? Hmm, let’s break it down. At age 29, I got my cochlear implant. At 30, I lived with a college student. At 31, I lived in my car and worked at Goodwill. By age 35, I found self-employment and the ability to make money outside of a traditional job. During this period, I also became a dad. Between ages 35 and 39, I struggled and felt frustrated with the control of my living situation due to influences and challenges outside my control, such as parental responsibilities (which were reasonable) and dealing with a former lover/partner and current co-parent. I can leave my former partner, which I did, but leaving my former partner's influence is practically impossible because my son Malik needs both parents. My freedom isn’t the same as it was in my 20s and early 30s, but compared to other guys in my age group who are already dealing with multiple kids, paying child support, etc., I still appreciate what I have, even though my freedom isn’t the same. Some of these guys never had that kind of advantage in their 20s! So I’ve got to count my blessings, and that’s why I’m committed to making the best of my 40s. Anyway, the grade I give my 30s is a B plus!

Happy 40th birthday to me!