A Triibute to Mom

 

I could write about anything for my next blog, but tomorrow — October 15th — is my mom’s 60th birthday, so I’m dedicating it to her with a special memoir tribute. 

I’m grateful to have had my mom, Earline, in my life for 40 years. I spent my first 18 years under her wing, went through a four-year transition period, and finally left the nest at 22.

Mom had me when she was 19, so she built much of her life’s purpose around me — and, of course, her faith in Christ played a big part too. She became fluent in ASL, stayed deeply involved in the Deaf community, ran nonprofit organizations, and even met her husband, Jon, through my circle — in an ASL class at church. Of course, over the years, her sense of purpose gradually evolved — shifting from being “Reggie-centered” to focusing on the broader Deaf community, especially after I left Florida in 2007.
I’ll admit, I don’t know much about my mom’s childhood — and I wish I did. One day, when we finally get the chance to sit down and talk, I hope to learn more. She’s always juggling so many things that it’s hard for her to just sit still — or even reply to my video chats.

I know some of my mom’s major life turning points — from having open-heart surgery at just eight years old (back when medical technology was far less advanced in the early 1970s), to losing her mother at 14, having me at 19, and enduring a toxic relationship for eight years before divorcing at 27. She met Jon, her future husband, in 1994 and married him the following year (1994? Wow — I didn’t realize how quickly my mom started dating again after her 1992 divorce. Just three years between 1992 and 1995… interesting, lol) I believe 1996 and 1997 were especially pivotal years that shaped who she is today — 1996 was when I started attending FSDB, and 1997 was the year her father passed away.

I remember the story of how my mom got her first job at Popeyes Chicken when she was just 15. It wasn’t some teenage “first job” for fun — it was survival after her mom passed away. I even remember seeing an old Popeyes shirt at Granddaddy Louis’s house when I was about four or five. Later, she worked at 7-Eleven and a few other places that involved business tasks like bookkeeping. She even worked for a company that did water-jet machinery on stone. During my FSDB years from 1996 to 2003, she didn’t hold many jobs; she wanted to stay available whenever I needed her, especially during those “Reggie’s in trouble again” moments in St. Augustine.

Mom grew up in the Christian faith — her dad, Granddaddy Louis, was a Baptist pastor, so church was basically her second home. Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, Wednesday Bible studies — you name it, she was there. But she didn’t really grasp the deeper purpose of her faith until we started going to the First Baptist Church of Pine Hills (now Church at the Cross/First Baptist Church of Central Florida). That church was a whole new world — same Bible, same Jesus, but a totally different rhythm from the culturally African-American churches she grew up in. Let’s just say it was less “Amen, hallelujah!” and more “Good morning, everyone.” But that experience helped her faith mature in a deeper, more personal way — one that shaped who she is today. 

So what’s Mom — Earline — been up to since 2007? Honestly, I don’t know all the details. Torin, my stepbrother, graduated high school in 2008, and she’s still in touch with Melisha, my adoptive sister, from time to time. Over the years, she’s met many new people in Orlando while I was off in Tucson chasing what I now call “dead-end dreams,” lol. She eventually went back to school and earned her college degree — and yes, she’s now a licensed funeral director. I’m not totally sure if she’s still working as a substitute funeral director or doing something else these days, but one thing I do know: she always finds work that reflects her Christian values and her heart for helping others. 

My mom’s relationship with me — and especially with Malik, her first grandson — is really what I know best about her now. Becoming a grandmother was an exciting moment for her, but also a complicated one. She’s dealing with a son who doesn’t see himself as an ideal “Christian” religious man and doesn’t quite fit the traditional “family values” mold. I’m a freestyle, never-married bachelor dad who values freedom and independence above all — and that freedom is tied to Malik’s stability. If Malik’s okay, I’m okay too. My mom’s entire identity, though, is rooted in her Christian faith, so our relationship — and her connection with Malik — often reflects that. It’s not always easy when the people you love most don’t share the same beliefs, but I understand where she’s coming from.

When I turned 40, I made myself a “before 60” bucket list — basically a list of stuff I want to do before I’m old enough to start yelling at clouds, lol. But it made me wonder: what about my mom? I’d love to sit down and ask her what’s on her “before 70” or even “before 80” list. I bet that conversation would be both deep and hilarious. My goal with my mom is simple — just to be happy with her for the next ten years. Life’s flying by faster than ever. I keep thinking, what does she want to do in her 60s? I wish I were rich enough to send her around the world, first class, hotel suite and all… but right now, that’s not exactly in the budget. Still, who knows — maybe one day in the next ten years, I’ll make it happen.

Hey Mom — I’m beyond grateful for all the adventures, lessons, and moments we’ve shared over my 40 years on this earth. You’ve shaped so much of who I am, even when we see the world differently. Today, I just want to say happy 60th birthday to an incredible mom and grandma. You’ve lived a life full of purpose, faith, and strength — and Malik and I are lucky to be part of your story. One of these days, let’s finally make time to sit down and talk — really talk — because your stories deserve to be told. We love you, Mom. Here’s to the next chapter of your journey.