No dating allowed for single parents — sorry!

 Yes, you read that right — single parents aren’t allowed to date. Too bad… haha just kidding! Of 

course you deserve to date. Even though I’m not a big fan of dating talk, I had one of those self-

reflection moments lately. I realized I never really had much luck with girls back in my childhood or 

early adult years (my 20s and early 30s). But honestly, I’m grateful for all those rejections. If I’d 

ended up in a serious relationship back then, I probably wouldn’t be in a good place now — 

maybe even worse off.

Being a single parent and full-time caregiver isn’t exactly my ideal situation, but I’ve learned to 

appreciate the freedom and independence that come with it — something not every single dad gets

to experience. Meanwhile, most single dads are out here juggling child support, stressing over

 

alimony, fighting off financial obligations that threaten their stability, losing sleep, and still chasing

 women like they’re in a reality show. Me? I’ve got none of that extra weight. Sure, I’m not 

financially “there” yet, but I’m way better than I was two years ago — and still improving bit by bit.

 I may not hit the MMA gym every day, but I make time for outdoor workouts at the city baseball 

park near home. I write my blogs and ebooks, enjoy my peace, and honestly, nobody really bothers 

me to hang out unless it’s about Malik. Yeah, it might sound like a boring lifestyle to some — but 

not to me. That’s exactly how I like it.

A lot of people dream of family life and companionship, while others enjoy the peace of being 

single with zero family obligations. Neither one is wrong — just different lifestyles. As for me, I 

never really had that burning desire for marriage or a big family. Sure, I entertained the idea of 

having a girlfriend  back in my early adult years, but then, but I was never fully committed to the 

single life… at least not until my ex got pregnant with my first son. That was my big awakening 

moment — the one that flipped the switch on how I see myself in future relationships.

Three years later, we went our separate ways, and that’s when it really hit me: freedom is precious. 

I didn’t truly appreciate it until I became a dad. Ever since then, I’ve re-committed to never 

compromising that freedom again — even if life doesn’t look quite the same anymore.

Quick background story — this is why my freedom means even more to me these days, and why 

being in a relationship just doesn’t matter to me anymore.

Before becoming a dad, I didn’t have to “pay the price” to anyone. If I wanted to hop down to 

Nogales for dental work or just for fun, I went. I could hit up my barber Aaron every two weeks like 

clockwork, work any hours I wanted, and even live out of my little PT Cruiser (still wish I’d bought 

a small van instead). If I wanted to train MMA, wrestle, or join a local rugby club — no problem, 

no permission slip needed.

Now? If I want a haircut, I’ve got to make sure Malik’s taken care of first. If I want to train at the 

MMA gym — same thing. Even a simple Nogales trip to finally remove this brace? Gotta make sure 

Malik’s good first. Every move costs time, planning, and a few extra dollars. So yeah — no money 

for haircuts, no money for Nogales, and no Uber or Lyft ride money for personal errands. Welcome 

to single dad economics: freedom with taxes!

Given Malik’s disabilities, it takes a lot of work to adjust and fit his accommodations into my 

personal world — basically, making sure everything in my world works around his. For example, if 

I ever decided to take Malik with me to Nogales, I’d need legit paperwork for both of us just to 

cross the border, plus I’d be stressing over keeping him safe while I’m in the dentist chair. I 

couldn’t imagine pushing Malik’s stroller down a crowded street in Nogales, where people 

constantly approach you for money or random things. 

There are too many shady spots in that area where I just couldn’t walk with Malik by my side — 

and I definitely wouldn’t want anyone there knowing who he is. Keeping him safe always comes 

first. Some people might ask, “What about the kids in Nogales? They’re fine, so shouldn’t Malik be 

too?” But the difference is, those kids grow up there. They know the area, the people, and the 

rhythm of the streets. They’ve got family and connections in that environment. I don’t. I’m not from 

there, and I don’t know those folks personally — unless I were a frequent visitor, which I’m not.

Taking him to the MMA gym? Still under discussion. Even though his respite care provider helps a 

lot, she has her limits — which means my Saturday training plans aren’t always guaranteed.

On top of that, my coaches are planning to start a nonprofit program for people with disabilities — 

especially kids with special needs — and they think Malik might be a perfect fit. I’m honestly 

excited about it, but since Malik already has a respite care provider, I’ll need to sort out some 

scheduling and make a few adjustments first. So yeah… still under discussion. You know how it 

goes — the dad life calendar always needs a little rearranging.

As for the barber shop… forget it. Malik can’t sit still, loves to wander, and turns a simple haircut 

into a full-time adventure.

Because of all that, I don’t really do much with Malik in my personal world — unless it directly 

benefits him. That’s just the reality of a caretaker life… and honestly, I’ve learned to adjust and 

also to enjoy through it.

Yes, I got my freedom back, but it’s more fragile now than before. I’m willing to make 

sacrifices to ensure Malik is well taken care of. I might not visit Nogales as often as I’d like, but at 

least I have a roof over my head while Malik stays safely with his respite care provider. That’s a 

price I don’t mind paying. But why would I make that kind of sacrifice for someone else — 

especially an adult woman — if it means giving up my freedom again? I’m willing to pay the 

price for Malik’s sake, yes, but for an adult woman’s sake? No thanks. That’s one of the reasons 

I’ve lost my taste for relationships.

And if I ever agreed to be in a relationship with someone, I’d be buying more than just the price of 

being with her — I’d be paying for everything and everyone that comes with her. That includes her 

kids, her family, and yes, even her ex’s family, because kids always bring their whole universe with 

them. And when the drama or conflicts hit — even if I had nothing to do with it — guess who’s still 

paying the price? Yep, me. That’s one price tag I’m not willing to buy again 

And it’s not just me who’d pay that price — it would affect Malik too. He doesn’t make decisions in 

my personal life, so he shouldn’t have to inherit any fallout from it, directly or indirectly. The same 

goes the other way around: anyone who tries to get involved with me would have to “buy the price” 

for my situation too. And honestly, I don’t think they should have to carry the weight of my 

consequences — not directly, not indirectly. That’s exactly why I keep my world simple.

I do adore women, but my freedom is too precious to throw away. That’s my personal philosophy.

So, is it okay for single parents to date? Absolutely yes! Go ahead — date a single parent for 

leisure, have fun, take your turn… just don’t start building blueprints yet. 😅 But if you’re serious 

about building a new life with a single parent, remember — there’s a price that comes with it. And 

if you’re not ready to pay that price, no shame in sticking to leisure dating!