My 6th Father’s Day

Today is Monday, June 22, 2026. Malik woke up around 3 a.m., so I fixed him a breakfast snack instead of a typical morning meal. Afterward, I cleaned the kitchen.

Instead of turning on the TV for Malik or working on my AI projects, I started reading the first few pages of Bill Clinton’s My Life autobiography. Ironically, he was talking about his biological father—and Father’s Day was just yesterday.

Bill explained the story how he lost his father in car wreckage, drown in the river. He also found out that his father had two kids from previous marriages during his early 1992 Presidential campaign. Bill said his father was a italian raised in Italy came to USA for military (maybe I was confused due to my reading memory muscle. I need to re-read the early pages!). I know Bill Clinton since I was in elementary school but I never knew the somewhat “private” family part of Bill Clinton, even though his books and publications have been out in public for many years! It’s irony to read the story about the 42nd President’s late father unexpectedly on the Father’s Day!

Bill Clinton barely knew about his biological father, relying on his family for the recallings of his father. I never met my biological father in my entire life and very likely never will. I don’t even make any effort to connect with him or his family on social media or anywhere else. I don’t hold a grudge against him. He left us alone, and I am grateful for that because he could have been the kind of guy who showed up and disappeared throughout our lives or been forced to raise me against his will. I don’t even think about him. I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by many men with significant influences in my life, like Jon Blumhagen, Louis F. Holmes, Earl Brigham, Maurice Abennchuman, and many more male role models, even though they were not perfect. From what I have learned, being raised by a father benefits a child in many ways, but it does not guarantee that child will do well. I have seen lots of kids who grew up in traditional nuclear families or with actively involved fathers struggle in real life, yet I have also seen plenty of kids who grew up without fathers go on to do great.

I personally never wanted kids. I never wanted a partner or wife. Even though I tried dating, it didn’t work out. I think I spent my entire 20s in a world that was not the right fit for me, but that’s okay because if I had ended up in a real relationship with the ladies I interacted with during that time, I don’t think I would be in a good situation right now. In January 2019, I received a DM from a random young lady that changed my life forever. Unfortunately, I lowered my guard by getting into a relationship with her, which led to having my first child. (That’s one reason I removed Facebook and minimized my social media presence, focusing only on my projects.) I have mixed feelings about my fatherhood. Even though I maintain my commitment to my son’s well-being, I was fortunately able to reset my life by appreciating my bachelor lifestyle even more than before I had Malik, especially after becoming infertile. No, I’m not playing around with women (I’m not a ladies’ guy anyway lol), but I’m realizing how much freedom I gained following my awakening reset.

Yes, it triggers many people, especially those with traditional views who value compassion and family. Most single dads continue dating women or stay involved with churches. I don’t embrace those paths. In my logic, why would I trade my clean freedom for the sake of compassion, where I would need to compromise my life with someone who could put a price tag on my freedom? Nope, I’m not saying Malik is the reason I stay single. No child is responsible for a parent’s adult relationships, and I don’t see any logic in making someone else pay the price for my consequences—we all have baggage anyway. No, my childhood was not perfect, but I am grateful for it. However, I already survived an awkward blended family throughout my entire childhood, so why would I want to create another blended family, especially now that I’m in the early stage of middle age? Nope, I’m good.

Yes, I do have goals for Malik. Lots! ABA therapy is a part of the goal, but it’s still a challenge because every time we see an opening, there’s always an immediate stall, just like what happened last week. I could have hosted in-home ABA therapy, but we live in a one-bedroom apartment next to a constantly complaining neighbor, and our unit just had a bed bug issue, so it wouldn’t be a comfortable environment for in-home sessions. That’s why I got a parent caregiver job so I could build a financial record for a new home. Another challenge is that many people don’t feel comfortable arranging their lives in a way that fits with ours. I can arrange my life more easily (not easy, but kind of) because I have nobody else to look after besides Malik, so I have nothing to lose by making my life revolve around his interests. I do have a strong desire to be able to communicate with Malik on many topics. One day, I hope that’s going to happen.

What is life like being with Malik almost every day? Not much. We usually hang out around the neighborhood. Malik is a simple kid who enjoys the same TV shows, dislikes toys, enjoys coloring, and loves walking. He sometimes enjoys watching me wrestle at the gym. He has also begun enjoying playing with water, even though he used to hate it. He pushes me out of my comfort zone. Yes, caregiving is stressful, but the gym and working out matter a lot to me. Wrestling, more than just leisure, is stress management. People may assume I’m a lonely father with a special needs kid. That’s inaccurate—they’re simply viewing it through their own perspective. Being Malik’s father has slowed down my life and made me enjoy myself even more. Malik is the best life coach, even though he’s only six. Now it’s 4:55 a.m. It looks like Malik wants to go for a walk outside, so we’ll be walking around the apartment complex. See you later!