Storytime with Chazark

Today is the friendship anniversary between Illiana and me. We're both the reason Malik exists. I've known Illiana for six years. She was a Job Corps student studying to be a medical assistant, while I was working at a Goodwill store, living in my PT Cruiser, and pursuing my dream of a CDL trucking career. She found me through a Facebook group. I was 35 at the time and had never been in a relationship with a woman as an adult. No matter how hard I tried, I never had any luck with relationships, so I was surprised to receive a direct message from a young lady who seemed interested in me. I approached her message with caution due to my past experience with a drug-addicted Deaf girl who was somewhat interested in me because I had resources like money and a car, and many women hung out with me to learn ASL. Additionally, I don’t regularly interact with Deaf people in Tucson due to different lifestyle preferences and interests. Therefore, my dating pool was limited at th...

Let go of anything you can't afford. " It's okay to be broke as long as you remain financially responsible. " - Reggie Holmes Malik was in my care almost the entire week, and he's still with me now. Because of that, I couldn't maintain my Uber productivity, so I didn’t make enough to cover my due. Last Friday, I had $140 in my bank account, and my weekly rate was $314. I thought Malik's birthday party, hosted by his mom, was still happening on Saturday. That same day, I had also agreed to work for a couple referred by a friend. So, my plan was to drive Uber on Saturday to make money for my upcoming due on Monday. But Malik's mom, Illiana, and her partner changed their weekend plans—going out of town like they usually do almost every other weekend. So, I had to rearrange my plans to make room for Malik in my care. Actually, Saturday is my original day with him anyway.  Obviously, you can't do Uber while having kids, relatives...

Five years ago, on this very Wednesday in January 2020, Malik was born! I remember Illiana's pregnancy was pretty overdue, with no water breaking. My mom had already left Tucson two or three days before January 22, if I remember correctly. We had multiple back-and-forth trips to El Rio Clinic and Tucson Medical Center for routine maternity checkups. Neither Illiana nor I expected our trip to TMC on January 22 to be the last one for a maternity checkup. A video remote interpreter was provided at the meeting where I was following along with the conversations between Illiana and the nurses/midwives. However, I was too quiet and unsure of what to expect, as it was my first labor experience. An agreement was reached, and it was necessary for Illiana to move into a different room. Honestly, I didn’t realize it was a labor room at the time—I thought it was just a typical maternity checkup or something like that. Maybe I misunderstood what the video ASL ...

Fake shoes or fake rich? Today is my first non-birthday day as a man in my 40s! We woke up late again, around 11 a.m. I drank La Croix sparkling water mixed with Alani Nu energy drink mix. In my opinion, it’s a healthier option compared to drinking canned Alani Nu energy drinks because it has no preservatives and a limited amount of caffeine. Sunday what? BBQ ribs at Fry’s! They always smell so good. I was craving ribs, so I checked my balance to see if I could afford them. To my surprise, someone gifted me $100! It’s good to know I have enough cash for Malik’s haircut, maybe this Wednesday, on his birthday. My barber, Aaron, is ready to cut kids’ hair. Even though it’s technically considered a father-and-son decision, I don’t really need Malik’s mother’s permission for the haircut. However, I’d let her know in advance out of courtesy. My barber charges me $20, which is $20 less than what her partner’s barber charges. Her partner’s barber did a great...

"Here I come, 40-ish!" Today’s my 40th birthday. Anything special? Not really. I went about my day as usual, but it’s better than my 21st birthday. What did I do on my 21st? I busted my butt washing dishes in the kitchen at Rose & Crown (Disney World Epcot) all night until 2 a.m.! Today was a typical Saturday for both my son and me. Our birthdays are four days apart. I woke up around 6 a.m., but he was still sleeping, so I went back to sleep until we both woke up around 11 a.m. I didn’t get many birthday greetings, just from my inner circle, immediate family, Malik’s mom, and, of course, the usual birthday spam emails from companies. With $55 from my mom, Malik and I went to Walmart for some groceries. Then we stopped by my storage to look for something before going out for a random drive. When we got back home, I cooked yellow rice and soup. Malik watched a movie like usual. After the movie, we went out again to Fry’s for some food and diapers. The Southsi...

 I’m Deaf, and I don’t use drive-thrus regularly. Here’s why: I have nothing against Deaf people using drive-thrus, even though it can create inconvenience for the establishment to process the order last minute due to a surprise visit at the window. Personally, I don’t use drive-thrus for many reasons. One of those reasons is to respect the timing and productivity of the business establishment, as I’m not a fan of last-minute surprise reactions from the staff at the window. As a Black man, I believe it’s very important to maintain situational awareness due to human nature’s tendency toward racial bias whenever they see me. Last-minute surprise visits could create a bad impression on my part or even lead to risky, unexpected consequences—something I strive to avoid. I understand that Deaf people may use ADA laws to justify their right to access business establishments, and I completely respect that. As a Deaf individual for 38 years—I lost my hearing at two and am turning 40 this mo...